a better mom

I'm always trying to find ways to be a better mom. All through my childhood and into my teens, I dreamed of having my own babies... I loved kids!! And at the young and tender age of 18 when I got married, I still wanted babies, although I did want to wait awhile. Everything went according to plan and Buster was born almost on our 3rd anniversary. He was a dream baby - he ate well, slept well, gained weight & smiled on cue. He never cried unless he needed something basic: food, sleep or a dry diaper... And so we thought, this is easy, let's have another! And the original plan was to have 18 months between them (18 MONTHS!! What were we thinking!?!?!) but life intervened for which I am now very grateful and Noodle was born 26 months after Buster. It was then that we learned about Parenting... and more about Colic than we'd ever wanted! The colic lasted 7 months and I honestly remember very little about that time period... I know God carried me because it was definitely more than I could've handled on my own. Noodle outgrew the colic but he retained his strawberry blonde hair and the intense personality that seemed to go with it. Today I'm still glad (most of the time!) that we had them as close as we did, but the fighting I deal with on a daily basis can shake up my grand intentions as a mother. I'm far from the mother I imagined I would be at the age of 16, I'm impatient and I don't spend nearly enough time with my boys... I somehow have the idea that my house should stay clean which actually isn't possible and I know I lose it a little too often. But I'm trying and I'm sure that counts for something...