Change. It’s a word I shrink from. I like my routine, my carefully ordered life to stay just the way it is. I don’t want to make a scene or create chaos. I shy away from confrontations. My temperament wants to blend in, to be like everyone else. Even if I sometimes compromise my own conscience.
As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve been doing a lot of deep thinking lately. Something happened recently that pulled me out of my shell and made me face the fact that I am, in fact, in a situation that I cannot hide or blend in. A scandal, if you want to call it that. Not directly involving me, but someone very close to me. It’s dug deep, it’s exposed all the feelings that I’ve hidden and tried to ignore. And something has been brought to my attention.
Relationships are very important.
I know, not big news, but sometimes you need a slap in the face to realize the change that needs to happen. I have been the target of gossip, and I know how it hurts. It’s not the way I would have chosen but it has (mostly) cured me of the desire to gossip about my neighbor. It has given me an empathy for the people I meet on the street. And most of all, it has given me the desire to “be the change I wish to see in the world” (Mahatma Gandhi)
Change starts with me. I can sit here and complain all day long about how my peers at church aren’t friendly, my husband isn’t even trying to understand me, or my best friend isn’t around enough. I can gripe about my mother-in-law, the neighbor’s daughter or my pastor. But a relationship cannot change until I decided to be that change. Sometimes it takes honest confrontation, humility to go to that person (you know which one!) and say, “Look, something’s wrong here and I want to resolve it. I take full responsibility for my part. Let’s put the past behind us.”
It’s hard. But I can tell you, it really does work. And you may find friends in very unexpected places…
That is a very true and sobering post...Thank you so much for your comment on my blog,for it led me here for which I am grateful for!
ReplyDeleteWe can keep waiting forever for the other when sometimes it helps we start with ourselves too.
You (and Ghandi) are completely right. Despite it being easier to complain and expect others to change, change starts with yourself.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder :)
did i write some of this?? my thots & feelings totally of the last while. thanx for the post & for putting up with a dweebo friend like me^_^..... if nothing else IKEA & STARBUCKS will forever keep us comrads!!
ReplyDeleteRelationships are VERY important and we do need to take responsibility for our part, but sometimes the other party doesn't want to participate in the change for the better.
ReplyDeleteI lost a friend that way, but maybe it was for the better.