so much more

What exactly is our purpose here? Isn’t there more to life than existing the way I am? Surely there’s something out there, something more…

These are some of the questions I’ve been asking myself lately. And the words of this song by Switchfoot keep echoing in my head:

Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he’s meant for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?

And I think I’ve found the answer… our purpose here on earth is to reach out, to love God and our neighbor as ourselves. To love unconditionally, to serve tirelessly… to use our pain and struggles as a way to help others who are still suffering and struggling.

So many times lately I’ve had the opportunity to visit with someone and share some of the heartache I’ve experienced in the last year… and I find they’ve been suffering through some of the same valleys but had no one to talk to, wondering if God really truly cared. And I tell them that I know how they feel. Because I do.

In my darkest hour, just before Christmas… I felt like life was so dark and there just simply was no light… I finally wept in bed, praying, begging to God, “I can’t do this anymore – take it away, I give it all up to You!” And the most incredible calm surrounded me. No, it wasn’t a huge feeling of peace… it was the total absence of darkness and fear and sadness. Calm, light, free…

Now I know, God does really care about little old me. And beyond that? He uses me. Uses me. Me! The same ‘me’ who has turned God away so many times and tried to do it on my own. The same ‘me’ who has saddened my Father more times than I can count. I am God’s creation and I am useful to Him. In the words of Ken Ham, founder and president of the Creation Museum, “Isn’t it exciting to be a Christian?!”