Lately I’ve just been struggling with being a mom. I know I’m blessed to have a devoted hubby and 2 healthy boys, but knowing and feeling are two separate things. Every day I think, okay, today is gonna be a good day… and then it fizzles. Again. I’m so impatient with the boys and I yell way too much. Okay, I said it. It’s official, I’m a wretched mom. I yell.
I know one of the best things would be for me to understand and appreciate my role as a mother, and yet my tendency is to feel useless settling fights and wiping noses. I feel like I want to make a big difference in the world, and I’m not getting that at home. Although if you think of it, the kind of kids we all raise will determine the world of tomorrow…
The greatest inspiration I’ve received so far is from simplemom.net and smallnotebook.org. These are two of my all-time favorite daily reads, and they really came up with great ideas on this subject. Tsh at Simple Mom has this idea (which I’d never thought of before but makes total sense) that being a stay-at-home mom needs to be viewed as a job. We would take pride in doing our work well if we worked out, so why not at home? Here’s her exact words:
When someone asks where you work, don’t answer, “I don’t work; I stay at home.” Instead, answer, “I work at home.” When you manage your home, plan the meals, handle the finances, juggle the calendar, and make sure that family members enter the world relatively groomed and sanitized, you work a lot. Think of yourself as the COO of the home. If your home was Home, Inc., how would you rate your performance in a quarterly review?
She continues by encouraging us to read blogs and magazines for inspiration on how to do our job better, but not to get discouraged by the “perfect” moms. I’m a perfectionist and I tend to not start something unless I can do it exactly right the first time. Then I end up with a messy house and grumpy kids, cuz guess what? Mom’s grumpy! You can read the whole article here.
Then Rachel at Small Notebook has a great article on Staying Balanced While Life is Full and she brings out some great thoughts on remembering our priorities:
1. Spiritual
2. Husband
3. Child
4. Me
5. Home
6. Everyone Else
I think I’ve bungled that one pretty bad. My current priorities would look something like this:
1. Me
2. Home
3. Child
4. Husband
5. Spiritual
6. Everyone Else
I need that scheduled time with God… People are always reminding me that God doesn’t demand that specified 30 minutes of prayer each morning and we can worship him wherever and whenever it works for us. But then again, I’m that perfectionist that just can’t let go… unless I start off the day spiritually, it won’t end up that way. So I don’t know about you, but I need a serious overhaul, and I’m inspired by my fellow mommy bloggers so much! Thanks to all of you, I’ve got a plan and I hope to follow through!
8 responses:
Hugs...I remember feeling the same way when I had 2 & sometimes I still do:-)...I have to keep in touch with Jesus as I go...parenting is serious but you gotta have fun & enjoy it ...faster than you can imagine your sweet little boys will be grown up...the time before my kids hit school has been challenging...they need something to occupy their very active minds & can really get into trouble . So wishing you courage
Shari
Thanks Shari... you make it look so easy with 12 kids and I feel like such a wimp... but it's good to know you've had those feelings too =)
I think we could be twins!!
Perfectionist - check
Mom of 2 - check
Feels guilty about yelling - check
Puts self first - check
There is hope. I'm doing much better. I was reading my prayer journal from last summer and I had an entry in May and then the next one was in September, lamenting the fact that I spent my entire summer "doing soap" instead of spending time with God or my girls. This summer has been much better so far. God first makes a huge difference!
Thanks Amy... it always helps to know we're not alone! Let's encourage each other =)
ll of us moms feel the same way that you do at one time or another, whether we work outside the home or inside it...or both! I yelled at my kids when they were younger. I wasn't always proud of it. But, they turned out okay.
It will definitely help to start your day off with God. It just sets the tone for the rest of the day. I don't always do that. Also, make sure to spend time on YOU at least once a week. It will do wonders. Treat yourself to a nice quiet hot bath, or a lunch date with a friend that you haven't seen in a while. Just remember, one day at a time.
Thanks for the post! I struggle on the other side of it... feeling guilty for working and not relating to anyone at work since all my coworkers kids are grown or nonexistent. My husband struggles with it too, feeling like he's unemployed, and yet the results are so amazing to me as I know my daughter would not be the cool little kid she is if he hadn't stayed home with her.
Thanks for this post. I have 2 under 4 years old and can sympathize. For me the hardest thing is to let go of wanting to be the perfect mother, wife, business woman, spiritual being ... the list never ends...
Post a Comment