struggling

Lately I’ve just been struggling with being a mom. I know I’m blessed to have a devoted hubby and 2 healthy boys, but knowing and feeling are two separate things. Every day I think, okay, today is gonna be a good day… and then it fizzles. Again. I’m so impatient with the boys and I yell way too much. Okay, I said it. It’s official, I’m a wretched mom. I yell.

I know one of the best things would be for me to understand and appreciate my role as a mother, and yet my tendency is to feel useless settling fights and wiping noses. I feel like I want to make a big difference in the world, and I’m not getting that at home. Although if you think of it, the kind of kids we all raise will determine the world of tomorrow…

The greatest inspiration I’ve received so far is from simplemom.net and smallnotebook.org. These are two of my all-time favorite daily reads, and they really came up with great ideas on this subject. Tsh at Simple Mom has this idea (which I’d never thought of before but makes total sense) that being a stay-at-home mom needs to be viewed as a job. We would take pride in doing our work well if we worked out, so why not at home? Here’s her exact words:

When someone asks where you work, don’t answer, “I don’t work; I stay at home.” Instead, answer, “I work at home.” When you manage your home, plan the meals, handle the finances, juggle the calendar, and make sure that family members enter the world relatively groomed and sanitized, you work a lot. Think of yourself as the COO of the home. If your home was Home, Inc., how would you rate your performance in a quarterly review?

She continues by encouraging us to read blogs and magazines for inspiration on how to do our job better, but not to get discouraged by the “perfect” moms. I’m a perfectionist and I tend to not start something unless I can do it exactly right the first time. Then I end up with a messy house and grumpy kids, cuz guess what? Mom’s grumpy! You can read the whole article here.

Then Rachel at Small Notebook has a great article on Staying Balanced While Life is Full and she brings out some great thoughts on remembering our priorities:

1. Spiritual

2. Husband

3. Child

4. Me

5. Home

6. Everyone Else

I think I’ve bungled that one pretty bad. My current priorities would look something like this:

1. Me

2. Home

3. Child

4. Husband

5. Spiritual

6. Everyone Else

I need that scheduled time with God… People are always reminding me that God doesn’t demand that specified 30 minutes of prayer each morning and we can worship him wherever and whenever it works for us. But then again, I’m that perfectionist that just can’t let go… unless I start off the day spiritually, it won’t end up that way. So I don’t know about you, but I need a serious overhaul, and I’m inspired by my fellow mommy bloggers so much! Thanks to all of you, I’ve got a plan and I hope to follow through!

beauty

Father’s Day ended up being a great day for us, spur of the moment trip across the border included! After a few discouraging twists the weekend did actually turn out beautiful. The first one being that it took us 5 1/2 hours to get to Tech Guy’s parents instead of 3 hours! Yes, we left our passports behind and had to turn around, wasting over 2 hours in the process. Not fun! And Tech Guy was very sweet in not mentioning it was my fault. Thanks hubby!! Anyway the result was a very late arrival at the in-laws, 1:30 am, and for some reason a sleepless night for me. I got up at 7:30 and went for a long walk along the rushing creek, so pretty! After everyone else was up and around, we packed up a picnic lunch and headed for the border with a final destination of Many  Glacier, Montana. It was our first time there and it was just breathtaking. The weather even held out, releasing torrents of rain just as we were finished hiking! We thoroughly enjoyed the almost-4-mile hike and the boys were such troopers!                 

Image courtesy of everytrail.com

How was dad’s day for the rest of you?

new things

Yesterday I made another solo trip into the city (yay me!) and picked up the long-awaited bunk bed for the boys! Their bedroom in the basement still isn’t finished but we just need another bed around here… especially with all the overnight guests we seem to be having! And I got a smokin’ deal on this lovely Ikea set through kijiji, which is similar to Craigslist… for those of you who don’t use it daily, like I do!   Both beds and mattresses for only $200, what a steal!

I just can’t wait to set up their bedroom downstairs… I already have their bedding, and I’m planning to paint the walls orange and just go crazy!! That’s what’s so much fun about decorating for kids, almost no color is off-limits (I do draw the line at purple though)!

So for now I’ll hold off and somehow fit both the bunks and the double bed in one tiny room. And hope that sometime this year the basement can be done!

heat

Yesterday was so hot… I’m not complaining cuz those days are so few in this part of the country! After church, we headed to Drumheller (dinosaur capital of the world!) with our overnight guests, who are long-time friends of ours. We had lunch at Boston Pizza, pretty much our all-time favorite family dining, then headed for the splash & spray park for the kids. They had such a blast playing with their friend A and splashing up a storm. There’s a large wading pool area with a fountain and then a separate area with all these spraying things. Totally in their glory!! Noodle looks a little pained here, but it’s probably a combination of sun and water in his eyes – he loved it!! And it’s so cool, cuz last year he still pretty much hated getting sprayed! And here’s my handsome Tech Guy (in blue), cooling his toes but still in lecture mode! It was such a great day, and I told my friend Carm, “In summer I love being a mom!”

Next time hopefully our bikes will be fixed and we can hit the trails of Drumheller… we’ve done that the last couple of years but only with the boys in the chariot and they’re too big for that now! Buster needs to get a little stronger on his bike riding before we take him there… there’s at least one place you have to cross a busy highway so I’m kinda nervous about that. Hope you’re all having a wonderful summer as well!!

sweet summer

I just made my way over to the neighbor’s, where my boys are happily playing with their new friend. 8:45 and I usually round them up at this time for baths and bedtime. But this time? They were having way too much fun, it’s still light out, and the neighborhood is still vibrant and alive. So I gave them a little more time. Summers are so short… the smell of fresh-cut grass, the birds chirping… lawn mowers humming and the sound of sprinklers. Long evenings – here in Alberta it’s pretty light up until 10 or 10:30 in midsummer – sitting around the fire, muted voices of neighbors on their porches.

No, I think we’ll let them play just a little longer today…

Original image found here.

retail therapy

Yesterday I went to the dentist for to get a permanent filling on my root canal. I took the whole day, dropped the boys off at a babysitter and set out on one of my independent shopping days. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m the kind of mom that needs… actually craves… alone time, and independence and just that feeling of value you get when you shop, and it’s just you… you can hand over the credit card at a clothing store and not have multiple voices vying for your attention at the same time. It was so therapeutic. Tech Guy doesn’t get this… most guys probably don’t, and I know a lot of moms that don’t either… but yesterday did more for me than therapy ever could. Selfish, yes… but I think it’s okay for moms to be selfish once in awhile!

contentment

As I mentioned in my last post, we finally got a sandbox for the boys; the very first one ever! And it’s a grand 12 foot by 12 foot square that was absolutely free. Free because we had the wood already and the sand was supplied by our sandpit-owner friend who never charges for sandbox sand! So I’ve been really excited and waiting to see how the boys will love it…

On Saturday (the first day  they could play in it) Noodle comes into the house in the late part of the morning, claiming he’s bored.

“Why?” I asked.

“Well because, Mom, there’s nothing but a sandbox out there!”

Sound of beating head against a wall.

But I mean, really? Are we adults really so different? I used to live for the moment when we would have our new house; life would be so good! And here it’s a year later and I’m already discontented. I wish I had a different fridge, my laundry room is too small, could we get that basement done already?!!

Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. 1 Timothy 6:6 (NLT)