quality time

Buster’s school was closed Tuesday and Wednesday this week because of sickness. Since the boys wanted to do shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child this year, I decided to have a “mom and sons” day out yesterday and get some shopping in. I had a regular booked prenatal appointment so I took them along, hoping they could hear the heartbeat. Well, no such luck there but we still had a great day.

We went to the brand new mall, Crossiron Mills, only 50 minutes away with no city driving!!! I’ve been there more times than I can count but the boys had only seen it once. I rarely take them along… often I have a doctor or dentist appointment and besides, I’m a very independent shopper. Shopping by myself is extremely therapeutic…

But I thought some quality time was in order since Buster was out of school anyway and we had such a great day! One highlight for all of us was popping into Indigo for probably 45 minutes. They have a Starbucks (Pumpkin Spice Latte!!!) and a huge kids’ books section which is also a play area. They can read any book off the shelves they want to(kinda like a library only everything’s brand new). And tons of toys… train table, little scooter cars, balls, a cute little lemonade stand with cash register, etc etc. So I sat down with my latte and a stack of magazines, Buster studiously read books, and Noodle played. There were 4 other little boys his age and he just had a blast!!

why

why did you say to me those hurtful words? didn’t you know how deep it would cut? you think you’re helping me, but don’t you understand? you’re pushing me farther and farther away… i love you, you’re my own flesh and blood, but it hurts too much when you judge that way… please show me your love by accepting me & my precious family – they’re all i have you know…

15 weeks!

Over 10 weeks ago, as I stared at the pink lines on a little white pregnancy test, I honestly thought this day would never come. Battling nausea from the very beginning (literally 10 days in!), I couldn’t even think about 40 weeks… and now I’m 37.5% done and it just feels so good!

Today I just feel so pregnant… everything’s expanding and aching and adjusting inside of me but it’s a good feeling because I know stuff is happening, and at this point it’s a faith-booster.  I’m really hoping to hear the heartbeat this week at my Dr’s appointment, which will help as well. Then only 3 weeks until the big ultrasound!! So excited for that!!

The little bean is now 4” long and around 2.5 ounces. You’ve got a long way to go baby, but we’ll get there eventually!!

And just look how far we’ve come:

think on these things

Lately God has been really tapping me on the shoulder; asking me to go deeper and to find more meaning in my Christian life. One of the biggest things I struggle with is Phillipians 4:8 where it says:

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. (NKJV)

It sounds simple, and yet there are so many things vying for my attention each day. And there may be nothing wrong with them in and of themselves, but when they are taking up 95% of my time and God only gets the other 5%, something’s got to go. There is a place for laughing, playing, enjoying life and having a good time. I think it’s healthy and important that we take the time to do that. But I think we need to “budget” our time with a priority “God” slot where we focus on our spiritual well-being. Our husband need that, our kids need that, and our neighbors do as well.

For myself, I think getting up a little earlier and using those early quiet hours, before the kids are up, to honor and and talk to God. It’s a bit of a sacrifice on my part since I’m a night owl and NOT a morning person, but it’s so worth it and the day goes much more smoothly.

Another point that can be taken from this verse is to stay away from negativity. I tend to be a dramatic, negative person. It is not pleasant to be around someone like that and every time I catch myself, I’m so disgusted that I’m turning into ‘that’ person. I think we all know who I mean! Keep your thoughts positive & upbeat and ask God to help you; He’s more than ready!

all part of the season

Yesterday our church hosted its annual Thanksgiving supper, for which we invite all our neighbors and friends and feast on the greatest cooking known to man. This year once again, it didn’t disappoint and we stuffed ourselves to the gills with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes & gravy, sweet potatoes, corn & apple pie.

It was unfortunate we had to leave early as my cold is tenaciously hanging in there and I’m getting this uneasy feeling that we have a long, sick, pregnant winter ahead of us. All this without meds, please remember! And although I steer clear of drugs most of the time, when I’m stuffed up with sore throat and coughing, NOTHING can keep me away from Neo Citran… well, almost nothing… this baby has won out though and I haven’t had a lot of relief in the last week.

So far today I’ve been hanging out in my pj’s, cozily tucked into Buster’s flannel blanket on the recliner, surrounded by tissues, books, hot lemon drink, lotion & Vicks. Now I’m trying to get a Chicken Noodle Soup going, the only thing I could even fathom eating at this point, so I’m really hoping it turns out. I’m hopeless at getting the spices right…

scare

Heart stuff is just plain scary. I don’t know if everyone has this phobia, but with heart disease in my family and my dad’s triple bypass a year ago, I don’t take heart problems lightly. And for the last 2 days I’ve had constant PVCs which has caused me to panic slightly (not helping the issue at all!). While I know that a lot of people live their whole life with PVCs, it’s fairly new to me and it’s never lasted for more than an hour or so. So you can imagine I was getting a little spooked; and being pregnant and hormonal on top of all that… The last 2 nights I’ve hardly slept between stuffy nose and irregular heartbeat and I was getting beyond the point of exhaustion.

Somehow I dragged myself out of bed this morning to take Noodle to swim lessons and then since I was in town, I promptly headed to the ER. I expected to spend half the day there; to all you Americans, please!! You do not want our health care system!!! I have spent 3-4 hours there, and that was just in the waiting room. But today God was looking out for me and I spent a total of maybe 30 minutes from the time I walked in the door until I left, including a 12-lead ECG and a talk with the doctor! What a miracle; and better yet, I’m not dying! Apparently this is not uncommon in pregnancy and my nasty cold just added to the odds. But unfortunately he said I could be headed for bronchitis, so I may not be out of the woods yet. I’m kinda tired of laying low; this cold hit on Sunday and I just wanna be well again! But I’m so thankful things worked out the way they did today…

14 weeks!

Today marks the official beginning of the second trimester! It feels so good to have made it this far; although I know things can still go wrong, it just feels like I can breathe a little easier. Not a whole lot has changed in the last couple of weeks… still fighting nausea throughout the day, still kneeling at the porcelain throne in the morning, not showing more than “wow, big dinner” and no heartbeat has been heard yet. I’m counting the days until the big ultrasound… 32 to be exact! Then we will find out whether to dream in pink or blue (please don’t take me literally; I’m not a pink-or-blue bunnies and teddy bears kind of mom!) and hopefully find a more accurate due date. I also have a prenatal appointment next Wednesday where I should finally be able to hear the heartbeat (I’ve seen it on u/s already).

One thing I’m getting extremely tired of is the comment everyone seems to think is a great way of making small talk: “So are you hoping for a girl this time?” I’m thinking up an appropriate response, something down the line of, “Well, if it is another boy, I think we’ll just put him up for adoption.” I mean, really… do I care what gender comes forth? After all this is done, I’m gonna be happy if it’s human and healthy.

my boys

I have always been intrigued by human behavior. I love to try and figure out what makes people tick – is is birth order, upbringing or just plain genetics? And I’m especially intrigued when it involves my kids… because I have to try  and figure out which traits come from me and which ones from Tech Guy… do they treat each other this way because of my parenting or just because that’s their personalities clashing… why are their interests so vastly different when they have the same genetics and the same upbringing?? I haven’t figured it all out but here are personality snapshots of my boys:

Buster has never shown interest in most “boy” toys, such as weapons, trucks, etc. Ever since age 2, he’s been a whiz on the computer & was drawn to pen & paper. By age 3 he was picking out letters on billboards and at age 4 was writing words the way he heard them (“brfda” for birthday). At age 5 he learned to read. And all along the way his interests could be narrowed down to drawing, playing video games and reading. He’s not into sports but lately shows a huge interest in golf. As far as his personality goes, he’s a perfectionist (like me!) who will not try something unless he can do it perfectly the first time. He is easily annoyed by noises or interruptions in his plans (also just like me!) and is always looking for approval (apparently a first-born trait). He is very sociable and has no problem making friends.

Noodle, on the other hand, has never shown interest in the computer. He loves to play with guns, trucks, bulldozers, and power tools. Anything that has a motor and makes noise immediately draws his attention. I can hardly pull him away if we’re in the mall and they’re fixing the escalator!! He also loves to build, wood blocks, Lego, anything that can be built… He’s very cuddly and loves to tell me many times a day, “I love you Mommy” and “I’m giving love to you”. He loves to snuggle with blankets and teddy bears (Buster never did the cuddly-snuggly thing too much). I asked him yesterday if he liked babies and he replied, “yes and puppies and kitties too!” Personality-wise, he’s intense & passionate, likes to play with others but definitely needs alone time too.

Do I love my boys differently? Definitely! They are two very different people. Do I love one more than the other? Absolutely not!! They are both just as precious as can be and I love them more than my own life.

crispy

Fall has arrived… the vampire frost has bitten my flowers and drained the life out of them… the colors are slowing changing from green & gold to gold & brown. The heat is on throughout the day and the light outside is dimmer every morning when I open my eyes. Today Noodle and I bundled up and took a walk outside in the crisp air. I was so happy to dig out my short black pea coat and colorful scarf… I just love scarves and sweaters and I am so digging this season!