it’s not about me

I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions. With my perfectionism, it’s like setting myself up for failure – if I can’t do it perfectly & without wavering, it won’t get done at all! But these first few days of 2010, I’ve been doing a review of my life, and it’s not that pretty. One thing has become pretty clear: I’m selfish. It’s a hard thing to admit… and I’m ashamed how much time I’ve dedicated to my own selfishness when I could have been spending that time for God & others.

…just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved.

1 Corinthians 10:33 NKJV

It’s so easy for me to forget all that God has done for me, focus on the negative and project that negativity to those around me. After all, misery likes company! But the Bible brings out:

And He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again. 2 Corinthians 5:15 NKJV

I have a duty to my Heavenly Father – out of gratitude and unworthiness – to project his love and humility to my family, friends, neighbors… yes, and blog readers! So I apologize, my dear readers, when all I’ve seemed to do is complain & whine. I have so much to be thankful for and I’ve done a pretty rotten job of portraying my Savior’s love.

This isn’t exactly a New Year’s Resolution… just more of a resolution within, daily, to love my Savior more, love my neighbor more and spread some more of that joy & cheer & encouragement. Yes, I have struggled in the last year. Yes, I feel like I’ve been wronged & betrayed by loved ones… but I can turn it into something positive, a learning experience, a chance to give help & support to others facing hard times.