primal motherhood, part 2

This colic went on for 7 months and then we got our ‘happy’ Noodle. He was still extremely intense, not at all the laid-back type his brother was. And I was done. I wanted no more babies and many days I wasn’t sure I wanted the ones I already had. I read blogs and forums and listened to my friends talking about how much they loved mommyhood & adored their little cherubs, and I simply could not relate. I felt like a horrible mother, I missed my independence & felt like I failed at everything I stood for; Wife, Mother, Christian…

I don’t know exactly when it changed. One day I guess I realized that this was my life now and waiting for something better just wasn’t gonna cut it anymore. I embraced my life with open arms. I realized that I loved my kids with a deep primal love that was almost fierce. I cracked inside when they fell & scraped their knees, I melted when they said, “I love you,” and when I lost it and got angry at them, I immediately broke down & begged them for forgiveness. I was a Mom, and I was so proud of it! Now I go on blogs & forums and I say, “I love Mommyhood. I adore my sweet little hooligans… and for all the wealth in the world, I would not ask for my old life back!”

And within a few months… I rejoiced together with Tech Guy over a positive pregnancy test.

When you reach that moment in your own journey… at birth? when you got pregnant the first time? or like me, did it take you awhile? Please share…