I grew up 100% country girl. For the first 11 years of my life, I had 80 acres to explore & enjoy. And after that… we lived on acreages so I still was pretty countrified! Almost 2 years ago we moved into town when construction on our house was complete and ever since I’ve been battling a common problem of town moms everywhere. And so I thought I’d bring it to my readers for some advice. How do you deal with neighbor kids who want to come over every day? I aspire to be hospitable and to have that home that is open to everyone and yet I feel it is *our* home and we have the right to set boundaries… Where is the line between *hospitable* and being *overwhelmed* with visits from our junior neighbors? As a Christian, should I even set my foot down or is it okay as the mother of my children to say, “Hey buddy, you can come over on Tuesdays & Thursdays but any other day is off-limits”? I would really love to hear how some of you have handled this situation.
Note: The boy in question is Noodle’s age and at times is over every morning, which I have a hard time with, being the private person that I am…
4 responses:
I would just tell him the times that your child is allowed to have friends over, and stick to that.
geez girl, i feel your pain! i am not a country girl, but i want to be. My husband and I have high hopes on one day owning a lot of land. With that being said, we don't live in a huge city either. We live in a new construction, middle class neighborhood and I have tons of neighbors that are very very very close by. In fact, if a neighbor and his family are fighting we can hear it (in Spanish, because most of my neighbors don't speak english) in our home.
Anyways, there is one neighbor in particular (who goes to the same church as me and who has a child my son's age) who likes to come over without announcing herself. Sometimes she'll call me over 30 times a day (and keep calling until I answer) even if she has nothing to say. I don't have working lights in part of my house (hopefully that will change next week!) and when the weather is nice I open windows to let some light in. There are times where this woman will come to my window and scream into my house to get my attention if I have not answered her calls. Again, she has nothing really to say and I feel very violated because i have no privacy. If I don't answer my phone she'll scream into my window and If i don't answer that she'll ring my bell over and over "just in case you didn't hear me scream or hear me call you".
I have hinted over and over that I do not like her to contact me as much as she does and i don't like HOW she does it either, but she doesn't seem to get the point.
One day I over heard her crying at church to another person about how she is very depressed and how she just needs a friend to talk to. things with her husband are bad and she is stressed about other things as well. It was then that I realized that I need to be that friend. I am her neighbor and live very close by. Although she needs to respect my wishes for privacy I need to hear her silent cries. She may have "nothing" to say, but she still needs to say it to me.
Maybe this little boy doesn't feel comfortable at home, or maybe he feels as though he gets more attention at your house (even if there isn't anything wrong at his own home).
My point is that you never know, and its OK to set boundaries... but maybe he just needs you somehow. Everything happens for a reason, and I beleive that God brings people into our lives at certain times so that we can either help them or they can help us.
sorry i rambled. I hope this helps!
I think it is a wonderful idea to set boundaries. Being a Christian does not mean being a babysitter to someone else's child every day either. We had this happen to us not to long ago and it was more the mother sending the kiddos over than it was the kids actually wanting to come over. I finally just went and talked to the lady. I politely told her that I really don't mind helping her out when she needs a hand, but that we are on somewhat of a schedule ourselves and there are certain times of the day that we do things. If she could just ask first before just sending them over that would be great. It was hard for me because I want to make everyone happy, but when it started making me crazy to have 5 kids in my house all the time...I had to do something. Good luck!
Hi - I am really glad to find this. Good job!
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