2.04.2010

neighborly

I grew up 100% country girl. For the first 11 years of my life, I had 80 acres to explore & enjoy. And after that… we lived on acreages so I still was pretty countrified! Almost 2 years ago we moved into town when construction on our house was complete and ever since I’ve been battling a common problem of town moms everywhere. And so I thought I’d bring it to my readers for some advice. How do you deal with neighbor kids who want to come over every day? I aspire to be hospitable and to have that home that is open to everyone and yet I feel it is *our* home and we have the right to set boundaries… Where is the line between *hospitable* and being *overwhelmed* with visits from our junior neighbors? As a Christian, should I even set my foot down or is it okay as the mother of my children to say, “Hey buddy, you can come over on Tuesdays & Thursdays but any other day is off-limits”? I would really love to hear how some of you have handled this situation.

Note: The boy in question is Noodle’s age and at times is over every morning, which I have a hard time with, being the private person that I am…

9 responses:

Sandra said...

I would just tell him the times that your child is allowed to have friends over, and stick to that.

Taylor said...

geez girl, i feel your pain! i am not a country girl, but i want to be. My husband and I have high hopes on one day owning a lot of land. With that being said, we don't live in a huge city either. We live in a new construction, middle class neighborhood and I have tons of neighbors that are very very very close by. In fact, if a neighbor and his family are fighting we can hear it (in Spanish, because most of my neighbors don't speak english) in our home.

Anyways, there is one neighbor in particular (who goes to the same church as me and who has a child my son's age) who likes to come over without announcing herself. Sometimes she'll call me over 30 times a day (and keep calling until I answer) even if she has nothing to say. I don't have working lights in part of my house (hopefully that will change next week!) and when the weather is nice I open windows to let some light in. There are times where this woman will come to my window and scream into my house to get my attention if I have not answered her calls. Again, she has nothing really to say and I feel very violated because i have no privacy. If I don't answer my phone she'll scream into my window and If i don't answer that she'll ring my bell over and over "just in case you didn't hear me scream or hear me call you".

I have hinted over and over that I do not like her to contact me as much as she does and i don't like HOW she does it either, but she doesn't seem to get the point.

One day I over heard her crying at church to another person about how she is very depressed and how she just needs a friend to talk to. things with her husband are bad and she is stressed about other things as well. It was then that I realized that I need to be that friend. I am her neighbor and live very close by. Although she needs to respect my wishes for privacy I need to hear her silent cries. She may have "nothing" to say, but she still needs to say it to me.

Maybe this little boy doesn't feel comfortable at home, or maybe he feels as though he gets more attention at your house (even if there isn't anything wrong at his own home).

My point is that you never know, and its OK to set boundaries... but maybe he just needs you somehow. Everything happens for a reason, and I beleive that God brings people into our lives at certain times so that we can either help them or they can help us.

sorry i rambled. I hope this helps!

Nichay said...

I think it is a wonderful idea to set boundaries. Being a Christian does not mean being a babysitter to someone else's child every day either. We had this happen to us not to long ago and it was more the mother sending the kiddos over than it was the kids actually wanting to come over. I finally just went and talked to the lady. I politely told her that I really don't mind helping her out when she needs a hand, but that we are on somewhat of a schedule ourselves and there are certain times of the day that we do things. If she could just ask first before just sending them over that would be great. It was hard for me because I want to make everyone happy, but when it started making me crazy to have 5 kids in my house all the time...I had to do something. Good luck!

kpn2010 said...

性功能障礙 ,陽萎 ,陽痿 ,生物科技 ,壯陽 ,男性疾病 ,性功能 ,韭菜籽 ,起陽籽 ,高血壓 ,外遇 ,徵信 ,徵信社 ,外遇 ,外遇 ,徵信社 ,徵信 ,徵信社 ,外遇 ,徵信 ,徵信社 ,失眠 ,安養中心 ,老人癡呆症 ,疝氣 ,看護 ,情緒管理 ,微整型美容 ,精神分裂症 ,憂鬱症 ,瘦身減肥 ,baby ,月子餐 ,孕婦 ,生產 ,坐月子 ,坐月子中心

kpn2010 said...

坐月子餐 ,到府坐月子 ,產後護理 ,新生兒 ,孕婦 ,月子餐 ,更年期 ,玻尿酸 ,婦產科 ,醫學美容 ,月子中心 ,坐月子中心 ,美白 ,飛梭雷射 ,水餃 ,台北素食餐廳 ,吃素 ,素食 ,素食水餃 ,素食餐廳 ,健康飲食 ,團購美食 ,包裝設計 ,伴手禮盒 ,紀念品 ,茶葉 ,禮品 ,茶葉禮盒 ,雷射雕刻 ,伴手禮 ,禮品公司 ,贈品 ,玫瑰花束,花店,盆栽

kpn2010 said...

氣球佈置,婚禮佈置,情人花束,新竹花店,會場佈置,網路花店,蘭花,木柵動物園,台北民宿,台北旅遊,坪林,坪林茶葉博物館,宜蘭民宿,真情民宿,深坑老街,貓空,太平山,宜蘭民宿,宜蘭旅遊,水餃 ,團購美食 ,水管不通 ,抽化糞池 ,洗水塔 ,消毒 ,馬桶 ,馬桶不通 ,通水管 ,通馬桶 ,上順旅行社,大興旅行社,五福旅行社,天喜旅行社,天福旅行社,日本自由行

kpn2010 said...

日本訂房,日本機票,CI設計 ,FPR大型公仔製作 ,大圖輸出 ,空間設計 ,活動行銷 ,展場設計施工 ,會場佈置 ,節慶佈置 ,道具製作 ,櫥窗佈置 ,水管不通 ,包通 ,抽化糞池 ,抽水肥 ,洗水塔 ,馬桶 ,馬桶不通,清水溝 ,通水管 ,通馬桶 ,二手車,中古車,抽水肥 ,通水管 ,通馬桶 ,肉毒桿菌 ,玻尿酸 ,美容美白 ,健檢 ,淨膚雷射 ,電波拉皮 ,韓風整形 ,醫學美容 ,體檢 ,加盟

kpn2010 said...

加盟創業 ,早餐店加盟 ,創業 ,創業加盟 ,禿頭 ,玻尿酸 ,美白 ,減肥 ,痘疤 ,雷射溶脂 ,電波拉皮 ,皺紋 ,醫學美容 ,104法拍網 ,大台北法拍屋 ,台北法拍屋 ,房屋仲介 ,房屋買賣 ,板橋法拍屋 ,法拍 ,法拍屋 ,法拍屋查詢系統 ,信義房屋 ,肉毒桿菌 ,抽脂 ,玻尿酸 ,飛梭雷射 ,淨膚雷射 ,植髮 ,微晶瓷 ,雷射溶脂 ,電波拉皮 ,醫學美容診所 ,truss

kpn2010 said...

大圖輸出 ,展示架 ,展場設計 ,展覽設計 ,海報架 ,海報設計 ,會場佈置 ,會場設計 ,廣告設計公司 ,桃園土地 ,桃園房屋 ,桃園房屋仲介 ,桃園房屋買賣 ,桃園房屋網 ,珠寶 ,黃金 ,結婚 ,鑽石 ,鑽戒 ,皮膚科 ,皮膚科診所 ,肉毒桿菌 ,肉毒桿菌瘦臉 ,柔膚雷射 ,玻尿酸 ,飛梭雷射 ,脈衝光 ,除斑 ,casino gaming machine ,gaming machine manufacturer ,gaming machine